Wednesday, April 22, 2009

That "OH MY GOSH" Moment...

Ever had a truly unexpected "oh my gosh" moment? That moment occurred for me about four years ago when my three year old son Blaine, so innocently looking toward heaven, asked me "Mommy, does Jesus really live in the sky?" I was totally dumbfounded. I looked at my husband and began to cry. It was at that moment that I said "oh my gosh" not only have I allowed myself to forget God but I, the self proclaimed greatest mother ever, realized that I had failed my children in the most absolutely worse way imaginable. I felt the blood drain from my body and became physically sick to my stomach.

It was then that I promised to have my children in church the next Sunday. I did have them there not only that Sunday, but the Sunday that followed. The second Sunday is when my children said "mommy please don't make us go". As I gasped for breath I realized that my children were not being able to worship in a "child like" setting and that grown up church was too much for them. What good have I done, I thought, if my children hate church? The following Sunday we went to a different church (our current church), we worshiped they worshiped and when we left the first time they asked "mommy when do we get to come back?" Since at this point we were only willing to give up one hour on Sunday mornings for God, we wont be back for a week. Proud of ourselves we continued on this path for a few months when we decided to let our children try our Wednesday night children's program. They loved it (and still do)! So fine, we are now giving up two hours a week, but we WILL not go to Sunday School and we WILL not do Sunday Nights. We, as working parents of 4 children, are not ready or willing to plan our lives around church. My heart still had emptiness and I knew that we needed to try Sunday School, we did, we loved it. I insisted over and over again that I would not give up Sunday nights at home. If I did I wouldn't have time to take care of family stuff. So I didn't. I was able to justify this with the fact that this Church didn't offer a Sunday night program for my children. I could not understand for the life of me why no one would teach a class on Sunday nights. But it was o.k. because God wasn't getting this hour. Boy was I wrong! Let me tell you when God speaks you WILL sit up and pay attention. When God tells you that it is you that is supposed to teach the kids - you don't ask questions - you don't look back -you don't question him. You pick yourself up and do Gods work.

Today, our lives are different, we truly make our schedules around our service to God. We don't regret it, we don't want it to change we LOVE it. It sends chills all over me when I think about my unwillingness to serve. How could someone be so selfish to someone that is so giving? Isnt it amazing how I used my children as excuses for not going to church, then my children are the "excuses" God used to get me back in church? I have realized that I am the human vessel that God is using to mold my children into the God loving, Christian people they are becoming. As a mother who absolutely, positively adores every breath that her children breath, what better gift could I give them than the gift of God's eternal love? What better gift could he have given us than his one and only Son?