Thursday, June 11, 2009

Thursday's Thoughts

A God that Dreams

There are moments that etch themselves into your very soul.

I was sitting in the car with one of the most important women in my life and my heart was absolutely shattered. Even now, thinking of that day makes my heart ache and tears stream from my eyes. As we sat in the summer heat, my mind raced. My time with her was limited. In just moments she would be gone again, out of my sight, beyond my reach…My heart screamed, “OH God! Help me know what to say!!!!!” I so desperately needed God to speak to her through me. I didn’t trust myself or my emotions because I was truly angry at her for the road she had chosen to travel. I was hurt that she did not seem to consider or care about what her choice was doing to those of us who love her...hurt and angry. What I wanted to say was “How DARE you do this?!?!” I wanted to demand that she straighten up, get herself together, and “act right”. So I prayed. I prayed with the desperation of one who knows that everything rides on the next few moments. “OH GOD!!!!!!! Help me know what to say!!!!!!”

“Do you think this is what God dreamed of when He dreamed of you?”

God heard the urgent cry of my broken heart and used me to speak to the broken woman in the car beside me for the next few moments. We sat in the front seat of her car in the scorching summer heat and I told her about the God who Dreams.

Scripture says that God KNIT you together in your mother’s womb.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm139:13

He didn’t throw you in a blender and mix you up. You are not some hap hazard mix of your parents DNA. He CREATED you. He KNIT you together. The same God who painted the feathers of the peacock and the wings butterfly chose the color of your eyes and hair. That same God sprinkled the freckles in a perfect pattern across your nose. He put the dimple in just the right spot in your chin and put the perfect amount of wave in your hair. He made your second toe longer than your first and your pinky finger slightly crooked. He chose the sound of your voice, the vibrato of your laugh, and determined just how tall you’d be. He placed in your soul the things that make you WHO you are...tender, compassionate, and giving...or strong, independent, and assertive....or any combination of these personality traits and a thousand others. Every single detail that makes you –well, YOU- was carefully, lovingly put into place by the same One who created the mountains, the oceans, the rain forests, and deserts. You are His unique creation, His child, His baby girl.

Scripture also says that He knows everything you have ever thought, said or done.
You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. 4 You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. Psalm 139:2-4

He knows every detail of every moment of every day and every night of your life. He knows how you REALLY feel about your co-workers. He knows all those things that you are so good at keeping hidden from the world. He knows you better than anyone else and He loves you more than anyone else. You are HIS and He is CRAZY about you.

On that hot summer day, the women in the car with me said “I know this is not what God dreamed of, but I can’t change what I am now.” I hugged her and promised her “You can’t but God can”.
As she drove away I begged God to take care of her, having no idea when I would see or talk to her again.

Years have passed since that hot summer day and that broken and battered woman is not so broken anymore. She has come to realize that she cannot fall so far that God can’t catch her. Even in her darkest hours, He is there.
Is there any place I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute— you're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.
Psalm 139 7-12

God taught me something through this too. He taught me how to let go and let Him take care of things. He also taught me that the people in my life are not mine and were not created to follow MY plan for their lives…. they are HIS and they were each created to play a role in HIS plan, they have a part in HIS story.

I imagine that every woman reading this relates to my story in some way, so I ask you, Dear sweet reader,

“When you look at your life, at yourself, at this road you are traveling….Do you think this is what God dreamed of when He dreamed of you?”

And If you are absolutely dying inside because of choices someone else is making, remember, you can’t “fix” them, but God can..and they may not need as much work as you think!

Dear God,
Help me to become the woman you dreamed of when you dreamed of me and give me the courage to let you sculpt and shape the women in my life into the women you dreamed of when you dreamed of them.